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HEY, FUCKING DIE OR SOMETHING
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[23 Nov 2002|02:39pm] |
i have made a new lj account.
i've added most everyone.
_die
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[22 Nov 2002|10:37pm] |
so i think im a bit cooler now that i am gonna hang out with sarah and jack osbourne later tonight.
i lied, im not that cool. i just like rubbing it in yr faces when you actually dont care.
just so i can feel a bit cooler, you know?
glamour is death: i have nothing to wearrrrr.
glamour is death: everything i have is going to remind him of his sister. and thats not very sexy, now is it? :-(
im so gonna be the envy of little fat teeniebopping girls across the planet.
my uncle is the best for doing this for me<3
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[22 Nov 2002|02:23pm] |
IF ONE MORE PERSON SAYS 'HAPPY THANKSGIVING' TO ME, I WILL KILL YOU.
IT IS VERY ANNOYING, OKAY?
ITS A SHITTY, USELESS HOLIDAY THAT EVERYONE IS MAKING A BIG DEAL OUT OF.
just stop.
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[22 Nov 2002|12:13am] |
eff your life: doin anything for thanksgiving
glamour is death: other than sitting at a table with my crazy itatlian family starring at my food while everyone argues about the stupidest shit, no.
eff your life: dan you showed me up
glamour is death: did that even make sense?
eff your life: who cares we are cool
glamour is death: i knew already.
glamour is death: i kind of think, were better than everyone else right now.
eff your life: we so are. you dont even know.
glamour is death: just because we sit home all day and feel sorry for ourselves, you know?
cody is crrrazy.
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[21 Nov 2002|08:37pm] |
i want tania. where could she be :(
oh wait. peter. thanks for taking my best friend away, pal.
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[21 Nov 2002|04:44pm] |
the sound of the wind from inside my house is pretty creepy.
i think the wind blew my mother away or something. she should have been home by now.
come home now mom! i have to go hang out with my grandmother!
i really like it when i put a blanket over my cat when he's sleeping.
when i sleep, he crawls under my sheets with me.
<3
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[21 Nov 2002|12:42pm] |
so i thought this would be the cool thing to say right now:
SHUT UP DONT WANNA HEAR YR VOICE
SHUT UP IM SICK OF ALL THE NOISE.
THERES NOTHING YOU CAN SAY TO ME
and i'll leave you with this:
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[21 Nov 2002|07:46am] |
bethy =
"jennyface.
your boyfriend is on tv.
and mom was like "hey, where is jenny. her fat boyfriend is on tv"
and i went into your room and you wern't there.
so, i drew you a picture and i put it on your bed. so you better treasure that shit for forever, bitch.
JENNY + JACKY OSBOURNE = LOVE FOR ALL OF LIFE !"
my sister is fucking better than yours.
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[21 Nov 2002|02:54am] |
I WANT TO GIVE FABRIZIO MORETTI THE BIGGEST HUG AND SOME HELLO KITTY PENCILS, DAMNIT.
I WANNA PLAY WITH HIS HAIR, TOO.
AND I WANT MY BROTHER TO NOT SING THE MIGHTY MIGHTY BOSSTONES IN THE SHOWER.
HE'S SUPOSSED TO BE AN EATING FLESH, LISTENING TO CHILDREN OF BODOM TYPE OF GUY.
NOT THE MIGHTY FUCKING MIGHTY BOSSTONES.
DIEEEEEEEEEEE.
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[21 Nov 2002|02:10am] |
==KINDERGARTEN==
we were out on recess and this ugly boy was too ugly to be near me and i thought it would be cool to to push him on teh concrete and drag him by his shirt.
==FIRST==
i melted crayons in class because i loved the smell.
==SECOND==
a boy kissed me.
==THIRD==
i was strange.
==FOURTH==
i failed and got held back.
==FIFTH==
i was in love with a boy named dylan miller.
==SIXTH==
i met my wonderful, beautiful, amazing best freind.
==SEVENTH==
i lied my ass off.
==EIGHTH==
i met the people i hate most.
==NINTH==
drama is the only word that could explain it.
==TENTH==
meh.
==ELEVENTH==
meh.
==DESCRIBE TWO MEMORABLE BIRTHDAY PARTIES OF YOURS==
i never had any. i always cried on my birthdays.
==EVER DONE ANYTHING CRAZY TO GET YOUR CRUSH?S ATTENTION? IF SO, WHAT?==
hahahahah
==DESCRIBE A FUN VACATION YOUVE TAKEN==
none were fun.
==WHAT CITIES HAVE YOU LIVED IN?==
van nuys, canoga park, woodland hills, montebello.
==HOW DID YOU MEET ALL YOUR FRIENDS?==
school or livejournal.
YOUR PAST
==ACTIVITIES==
i smoked more than yr life.
==PETS==
;/
==CRUSHES==
i'll crush yr face.
==JOBS==
job? not my thing.
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[21 Nov 2002|12:14am] |
Its probably best if I don't look through my old comments and my old e-mails that he wrote. And its probably best If I stop calling his pager and then getting scared of what im going to say or how im going to say it, and then hang up. But I cant.
I miss him. And what I felt for him, I hadn't felt in the longest time. He doesn't care, though. He never cared. Why he wasn't the one to tell me, bewilders me. He had many ways to tell me. And he chose not to. If he liked her for so long, why did he lead me on that way? Why did he pretend as if he cared, pretend as if he liked me. It really hurts. And I told you from the beginning that this exact thing was going to happen before I left. I fucking told you, dude. And you said it wouldn't happen. it did. Thanks.
He's with her now. And that's the way life works.
Even in my dreams, my heart is broken.
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[20 Nov 2002|06:38am] |
So im a little more calm right now. I've been crying since eleven am. Thank god Jessica was there when I saw it, or else. I don't know what I would have done. Thanks jessah<3 im still a little teary, but all in all, im okay. I mean, it wasn't as if we were dating. But I truly did like john a lot. I guess what he did, was pretty hurtful. And im very syupid because I still like him..
But as for lyndz, I don't know.. I just feel so betrayed, you know? And I thought you were in love with yr ex-boyfriend, anyway.
-I cried a flood of tears as I really were a mermaid who had absorbed too much sea into herself. The tears spilled like a balm, like a poison, like a potion, like a charm. In them swam a little girl who father was dying without having seen her daughter. In them swam a best friend who was falling in deeper and deeper. In them was a girl that was near invisible. In them swan a black haired girl who had never been touched by the boy to whom she was so devoted that she would have lived in a shack by the sea or a ruined sand castle even if he never made love to her. My tears were for me, but they were also for him. They were to wash away the thing that had frightened him so much so long ago. The thing that had hurt him so deeply. The wound inside his thigh. My tears poured out of me and he drank them down his throat. He drank them in gulps deep to himself, swalling sorrow.
"someday, when we are ready, I will give you back yr tears."
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[19 Nov 2002|10:39pm] |
my house smells so italian.
my room smells like MARIJUANAAAA.
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[19 Nov 2002|07:00pm] |
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
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[19 Nov 2002|04:51pm] |
dear julian casablancas,
yr father is a genius.
i want to hold hands with you and smoke cigarettes.
i would also allow you to not wash yr hair if you like it that way.
we could stroll down the streets of manhatten as well.
i want you to bear my children.
we would be great together.
i love you.
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[19 Nov 2002|03:02pm] |
de stijl xx: i miss john more than my life.
de stijl xx: he hates my fuckin guts.
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[19 Nov 2002|06:19am] |
[ current clothes ] drawstring pants, & a budweiser shirt.
[ current mood ] i want to fucking rot.
[ current music ] the strokes- meet me in the bathroom.
[ current taste ] french fries.
[ current hair ] messy & spiked.
[ current annoyance ] john.
[ current smell ] chanel no5
[ current thing I ought to be doing ] homework.
[ current desktop picture ] julian casablancas & jack white.
[ current favorite group] the strokes & the white stripes.
[ current book you're reading] i dont read..
[ current CD in CD player] dr. dre. dont ask.
[ current movie in dvd player] not another teen movie.
[ current color of toenails ] black.
[ current refreshment ] corona.
[ current worry ] that i suck more than yr life.
last person
[ you touched ] my fucking aunt.
[you talked to ] my fucking aunt.
[ you hugged ] my fucking aunt.
[ you instant messaged ] gio.
[ you yelled at ] john.
[ you kissed ] my fucking aunt. i love my life.
favorite
[ food ] yr insides.
[ drink ] any kind of soda.
[ color ] black.
[ album ] de stijl.
[ shoes ] creepers.
[ candy ] fuck candy.
[ animal ] my babies.
[ TV show ] gilmore girls, buffy, & that 70s show.
[ movie ]
[ dance ] fuck dancing. fuck yr life.
[ song ]
[ vegetable ]
[ fruit ]
[ cartoon ]
are you
[ understanding ] no.
[ open-minded ] no.
[ arrogant ] yes.
[ insecure ] yes.
[ interesting ] no.
[ random ] yes.
[ hungry ] no.
[ friendly ] no.
[ smart ] yes.
[ moody ] always.
[ childish ] slut
[ independent ] no.
[ hard working ] no.
[ organized ] no.
[ healthy ] no.
[ emotionally stable ] in yr dreams.
[ shy ] maybe.
[ difficult ] yes.
[ attractive ] no.
[ bored easily ] yes.
[ messy ] my mom always makes me clean it.
[ thirsty ] nah.
[ responsible ] no.
[ obsessed ] yes.
[ angry ] oh very much so.
[ sad ] shut up.
[ happy ] right
[ hyper ] no
[ trusting ] in yr dreams.
[ talkative ] not now
[ legal ] no
who do you want to
[ kill ] you.
[ slap ] you.
[ get really wasted with ] myself.
[ get high with ]
[ tickle]
[ kiss ] fucking anus ass.
[ look like ]
[ talk to offline ]
[ talk to online ]
held us under: why is it "my fucking aunt"
de stijl xx: cos im so lame i hang out with my aunt all day.
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[18 Nov 2002|11:44pm] |
julian wears a watch on his right hand.
thats really cute.
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[18 Nov 2002|06:27pm] |
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today is a stupid, ugly day.
i went to school very pissy. and i dont like that girl kay. i want to punch her.
after that i went to el camino to pick up my metallica jacket
that shitface has had since i was born.
i fucking need it back.
anyway, some people didnt even recognize me.
amanda saw me & screamed & ran to me & hugged.
she wouldnt let me go. it was hard to breath. haha
i took pictures with her & kim.
kim is cute now.
amanda is so adorable. shes so cute.
i want a strokes shirt.
and you hurt me a lot by just simple words.
im sure you said it with no mean & vicious intentions, but it hurt.
a lot.
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[17 Nov 2002|10:56am] |
I JUST TAPED THE STROKES ON MADTV.
OH
MY
GOD
n shit.
if im not going to marry julian, my life might as well be over.
ew. all these fat girls were all around him.
and there was this one cute girl who thought she was molly ringwald.
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[17 Nov 2002|12:56am] |
A - Age: sixteen
B - band: the strokes.
C - Choice Of Meat: no thank you.
D - Dream Date: julian casablancas or jack white.
E - Excites You: nothing.
F - Favourite Food: rice with soy sauce.
G - Greatest Gift: happiness.
H - Happiest Day Of Your Life: i'll have to get back to you on that.
I - Internal conflicts: self esteem like shit.
J - Jealous: yes.
K - Kool Aid: nasty
L - Love: bite me.
M - Most Valuable Thing You Own: all my baby clothes, jewelery, & the jackets my grandmother had sewn for me.
N - Name: jenny lucy.
O - Outfit I Love: jeans, studded belt, prada heels, a shirt, & my black curdoroy blazer.
P - Pizza Topping: meh.
Q - Question I want to ask: am i intimidating?
R - Roots: lightlight brown
S - Sport to watch: no thanks.
T - TV show: my dad & the gang. [the sopranos
U - Unique habits: i don't know. i have alot of those.
V - View from the window: a house & ugly brown hills, or something.
W - Weather I Love: i dont know, im inside all the time.
Y - Yesterday's best meal: meals? psh. yeah right.
Z - Zodiac Sign: pisces.
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[15 Nov 2002|07:56pm] |
i love my NY accent.
but i hate waking up at 7am from hunger
and taking sleeping pills
and not being able to sleep.
IT FUCKING SUCKS.
i wish i was half as pretty as beth.
OH WAIT, WERE TWINS.
i wanna sleep and i need a haircut.
hey you, kid.
you need to stop being my carbon copy, okay?
stop
trying
to
be
me.
it's getting old.
together we fall apart.
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[15 Nov 2002|06:48pm] |
so like.
i waited up until 2am for you.
& yr not on.
i miss my sister.
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[15 Nov 2002|12:35pm] |
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so like, die or something.
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[14 Nov 2002|11:19pm] |
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punishment in higher places
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[14 Nov 2002|06:49pm] |
held us under: hi. you have reached jherry kassaiiee at extenshin four teree von von please leave ze message after de tone and i vill get back to you. tank ju
le couture vi: HAHAHAHHSDHD
thats fucking hilarious because that is exactly how her dad talks.
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[07 Nov 2002|05:06am] |
MortalPain: bye beautiful
le couture vi: bye loverface.
MortalPain: see ya sugarbuns
le couture vi: see ya poundcake.
we own your life.
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[07 Nov 2002|04:33am] |
| [ |
music |
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elliot smith. |
] |
elliot smith is my hero.
i miss my daddy.
i forgive him for all the things he's done to me in the past.
its okay.
i just wish he were here.
my mommy wont stop crying.
yr the only one thing that makes me happy.
& i have to leave it behind.
this is it.
i'm too attached.
i cant leave him.
i wake up for him.
i breathe for him.
i cant leave him.
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[07 Nov 2002|01:03am] |
oh yeah.
it's the year to be hated.
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[07 Nov 2002|12:18am] |
i'm a couple months late.
but fill it out & love me.
1. What song (if any) reminds you of me?
2. Do I remind you of any characters on TV?
3. Does anything else make you think of me?
4. If you could rename me... what would my name be?
5. Have you ever had a dream about me?
6. If you just met me how old would you guess I am?
7. Am I huggable?
8. If you could give me anything... what would it be?
9. If you could promise me anything.. what would it be?
+ Personal +
1. If you could describe me in one word... what would that word be?
2. When we first met, what were your thoughts?
3. If you had to describe to someone who I am and what I am like, what would you tell them?
4. What are my faults?
5. My strengths?
+ Everybody +
1. Do you wish we were closer?
2. State here your completely honest opinion of me.
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[06 Nov 2002|04:28pm] |
le couture vi: i hate myself.
held us under: why?!
le couture vi: i missed crossing over with john edwards & full house.
in any news.
i re-did my layout.
karen o. makes me wet.
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[06 Nov 2002|03:15pm] |
he doesn't even like me.
i know it.
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[06 Nov 2002|11:21am] |
hey you.
...yeah, you.
bethany and i are better at you at this game.
we rule.
you dont.
we're hotter too.
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[05 Nov 2002|07:21pm] |
if there is any boy i love in the world
it's john.
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[05 Nov 2002|06:49pm] |
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FAIRY TALE  nce upon a time there has a young SLUT named PAPPY. He was FUCKA FARTING in the RING forest when he met COCK MOE, a run-away STRIPPER from the VAGINA Queen BITCHBITCH IDOIT.
PAPPY could see that COCK MOE was hungry so he reached into his PUBES and give him his SLUT SALAMI. COCK MOE was thankful for PAPPY's SALAMI, so he told PAPPY a very LOOONG story about Queen BITCHBITCH IDOIT's daughter MARLA. How her mother, the VAGINA Queen BITCHBITCH IDOIT, kept her locked away in a NASTY, DIRTY CHAMBER protected by a gigantic KITTTY CAT, because MARLA was so FUCKING STUPID. PAPPY SMART. He vowed to COCK MOE the STRIPPER that he would save the FUCKING STUPID MARLA. He would SMOKE OUT the KITTTY CAT, and take MARLA far away from her eveil mother, the VAGINA Queen BITCHBITCH IDOIT, and FUCK her. Then, all of the sudden, there was a SMUT JACKING OFFFF and COCK MOE the STRIPPER began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic KITTTY CAT from his story. VAGINA Queen BITCHBITCH IDOIT QUEAFED out from behind a VIBRATOR and struck PAPPY dead. In the far off NASTY, DIRTY CHAMBER you could hear a MOANINGGG. THE END. Make your own Fairy Tale at fuali.com
haha. i am so bored. i miss john.
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[05 Nov 2002|02:02pm] |
this v o g u e: i told my mom you might be spending the night monday
this v o g u e: & shes all
this v o g u e: 'oh im gonna be so lonely. we can have an all girl pajama party like you did when you were 6'
this v o g u e: yeah mom, hence the words, 'when you were 6'
held us under: AWWWW
this v o g u e: ahaha. shes gonna go crazy. i can tell
held us under: hahaha
my dad is leaving on wedsenday. he's going to england before us.
eh. i'm going to miss the little critter.
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[05 Nov 2002|01:28pm] |
i do know one thing, though.
bitchez, they come & go.
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[05 Nov 2002|08:23am] |
| [ |
music |
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henry mancini |
] |
my daddy is in an italian mob.
my mom just bought me a shirt that says that.
i am the envy of all the kids in my neighborhood.
[]solo-artist : fiona apple, julie ruin
[]band(s) : the rapture, the vue, the cure, blonde redhead, bright eyes, atreyu, joy divison, miss kittin, the white stripes, the black heart procession, the yeah yeah yeahs.
[]song to write to : anything by the cure.
[]song to makeout to : i wouldnt know. i dont makeout.
[]song to dance to : anything by the vouge, miss kittin, white stripes- ashtray heart.
[]song to fall asleep to : henry mancini, fiona apple or the white stripes.
[]song to hear when you first wake up : any slayer or pantera.
[]song that makes you happy : miss kittin - frank sinatra
>>band(s) that...<<
[]makes you think of your best friend : any sleater kinney or bk.
[]makes you think of your past : the casket lottery - keep searching
[]makes you think of love : no
[]you want to make love to : the vue - white traffic!!!
[]makes you cry : bright eyes, joy division, the cure, nin.
[]makes you think of the person you love most : no
[]makes you dance : the smell of lipstick.
>>best...<<
[]pink floyd album : no
[]ac/dc album : back in black.
[]the who album : no
[]The Smiths album : no
[]7 seconds album : uh. kevin seconds solo, hoez.
[]daft punk album : god no
[]radiohead album : ok computer
[]slayer album : every album, stupid.
[]mogwai album : no
[]Converge Album : jane doe
[]Portishead track : dummy
[]Buzzcocks album : no
[]Zao album : NASTY.
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[05 Nov 2002|07:59am] |
my brother does the best tommy chong impression.
and i do the best cheech marin impression.
we are define cool.
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[05 Nov 2002|04:40am] |
MY TEETH
MY CAR
MY VAGINA
MY BUSINESS.
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[05 Nov 2002|12:17am] |
this v o g u e: you know i have an eminem tape.
this v o g u e: videotapes.
this v o g u e: of ALL his appearances. i'm like a female version of stan.
i used to hate him. and dream that he was dead, you know.
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[04 Nov 2002|02:54pm] |
my loving, caring, wonderful uncle just bought those for me.
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[04 Nov 2002|10:58am] |
+ prada shoes.
+ givenchy sunglasses from 1976.
+ smoking cigarettes glamourously.
+ missing john.
+ shopping on rodeo drive.
+ buying more prada shoes.
+ and more givenchy sunglasses.
+ buying the whole 'white trash charms' store.
+ buying jessica the perfect birthday prensent.
+ smelling terrific.
+ dying my hair black again.
love me.
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[04 Nov 2002|04:48am] |
my father thinks i am: i dont know.
my mother thinks i am: a bit strange.
my sibling thinks i am: ugly.
my grandma thinks i am: the prettiest, sweetest girl.
my grandpa thinks i am: the prettiest, sweetest girl.
my boyfriend/girlfriend thinks i am: if i had a boyfriend i'd tell you.
my best friend thinks I am: i don't know.
+your three best qualities = i'm funny, smart, and very creative.
+three worst qualities = cocky & too good for you.
+three things you are often complimented for = my eyes, my hair, my style.
+a compliment you got that made you blush = john makes me blush.
+you get embarrassed when = i don't get embarassed.
+makes you happy = music, him, fashion..
+upsets you = everyone.
yes or no..
+you keep a diary = yes. obviously.
+you like to cook = yes
+you have a secret you have not shared with anyone = yes.
+you fold your underwear = no.
+you talk in your sleep = i wouldnt know.
+you bite your fingernails = sometimes.
+you believe in love = eh.
last..
x. movie you rented = insomnia.
x. movie you bought = the royal tenenbaums & the lost boys.
x. song you listened to = fashion rules.
x. song you've downloaded = some dimmu borgir stuff.
x. CD you listened to = nirvana greatest hits.
x. person you've called = tania
x. person that's called you = no one calls my gay ass.
x. TV show you've watched = dr. phil.
x. person you were thinking of = john.
do......
x. you wish you could live somewhere else = yes.
x. you believe in online dating = i guess so.
x. others find you attractive = i don't know.
x. you want more piercings = yes.
x. you want more tattoos = i don't have any but i want some.
x. you drink = on occasion
x. you do drugs = not really.
x. you like cleaning = no.
x. you like roller coasters = no.
x. you write in cursive or print = print
x. you carry a donor card = donate this, bitch.
have you..
x. ever cried over a boy/girl = yes
x. ever lied to someone = yes
x. ever been in a fist fight = yeah.
x. ever been arrested = yeah.
what..
x. shampoo do you use = bedhead.
x. perfume do you use = dolce & gabbana feminine
x. shoes do you wear = prada heels, or creepers.
x. are you scared of = being alone.
number..
x. of times I have had my heart broken? too many.
x. of hearts I have broken? so many.
x. of people I've slept with? is it yr business? no.
x. of people I consider my enemies? mostly everyone.
x. of people from high school that I stayed in contact with? tania.
x. of CDs' that I own? i donno alot.
x. of times my name has appeared in the newspaper? never ago.
x. of things in my past that I regret? alot.
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[04 Nov 2002|12:59am] |
i feel misreable without you.
god, what has gotten into me.
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[03 Nov 2002|09:17pm] |
i like you so much.
so fucking much.
all i want to do is make you happy.
and love you.
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[03 Nov 2002|05:56pm] |
i had the strangest dream. two series of it.
okay the first one- i dreamt that jack & meg white moved in RIGHT across from my house. my mom called me at tanias house told me they moved in because she saw meg moving in her suitcase and jack helping the moving men with the furniture. i of course didnt believe her. and i yelled at her and told her not to lie to me like that. that it wasnt very nice.
so when tania dropped me off, i was like. hm. im gonna go ring the doorbell. and this was at night, around 11. so i rang the doorbell & no one answered.
i knocked a couple times and after like, 5 times. i could hear locked being loosened and hey hey. guess who opens the door!
JACK WHITE. ahahah.
he's all, "oh sorry it took a while to answer the door. we're in a band and we were just in the basement practing."
haha and tania started laughing her ass off, because you know. its the white stripes and hah yeah.
and my mouth was down to my knees and i was gonna tell him i loved him & meg & pounce on him. but tania got my bottom jaw and shut it. haha.
and then meg comes to the door. and once again, my jaw feel the my knees. hahah.
i couldnt talk. and tania told them that i was their neighbor and i lived right across the street. while she was talking, i ran to my house & banged on the door to get in. haha. i was so scared.
i ran up to my room & locked myself in, thinking they were gonna come get me or something. ahah.
so like, my blinds are always open right? and once its dark out, and my lights are on. you can see the posters & shit on my wall clearly. from outside that is. so like. jack saw it. threw rocks at my window. i told him to go away. hahah. i dont know, man.
so yeah. ill stop with the details.
i finally came out of my room, talked to them. meg was my new best friend. jack was my new boyfriend. they told me their not really brother & sister. that they were married 5 years ago & jack took megs last name. blahblah. but i already knew that.
jack and i got married. the end.
second dream- i was in some paranormal halloweentown type world. and so was steve-o from jackass. haha
we were in love with each other. and got married.
we had a two man act at the circus. and we got rave reviews. we were cool.
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[03 Nov 2002|12:13pm] |
i'm so tired of feeling this way.
im tired of everyone having someone
and me having no one.
not even a fucking dog or a cat.
i just want to end this all.
i drank the whole bottle.
by myself. what dont i do by myself?
i know im going to be alone the rest of my life.
what is so horrid about me that guys dont attract to me?
what the fuck is it?
if you can get guys, i think i should be able to attract at least one guy.
i fucking want to get my dads gun & just fucking shoot you.
because you dont even fucking care.
so stop pretending & saying you do.
i can see right through you and you couldnt give two shits about me.
i know it.
and you..
fuck you for being so pretty.
why did you have to be graced with yr beauty?
why couldnt i have the same fucking beauty you have?
why.
why.
why.
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coeur_meurtre's journal
